"How Relaxing!"

Bitch, don't get me started. Seriously, I am sick of people saying the above when I tell them I go to acupuncture and massage every week. Relaxing? Maybe for people who enjoy these services for the hell of it, but for moody, achy me and my sad, hallow-eyed peers, there is only inevitable pain. It takes pain to relieve pain, didn't you know?

Acupuncture. Oh my fucking God. (Thank goodness I don't send the link to this blog to anyone and am rambling on to myself). Everyone told me it would be so wonderful and wouldn't hurt and fairies would float around singing and flinging flower petals. Everyone was full of it, apparently, or had no reason to go to the acupuncturist in the first place. Acupuncture hurts, at least for me, and a lot. It is insanely unpleasant. They poke you with needles all over and the pain kinda radiates then goes away then comes back. Plus, you're alone and you can't really go to sleep because you aren't supposed to move. You just sit there with "Pure Moods" playing and every once in a while the acupuncturist comes in and adjusts the temperature.

Additionally, I think I had an allergic reaction of some kind to either the metal used in the needles or the fabric softener used on the hospital gown, because I was crazy itchy on my neck and hand after leaving. Had bumps where there were needles in my neck. I'm not sure what this is all about. I was going to ask some of the folks at Tai Chi today, but I forgot.

Now, massage, massage is the real killer. It hurts like hell and people are always saying how lucky I am to get to go once a week without paying. Sure, it all gets folded up in the pretty lawsuit/guy who hit me/his company will pay it all in the end. Assuming I don't lose my lawsuit. Ew. Anyway, I don't have to pay- huzzah? But shoot girl, shoot, it hurts like hell.

There are about ten minutes of every hour of massage that don't hurt. Everything else hurts and a lot. My muscles are being "reprogrammed" but more like I "reprogram" the route of my ball in a pinball machine- by hitting it as hard as I can. The MT's hands feel like knives- sometimes I really start to wonder if I'm being sliced open but am too dumb to realize it. There's no blood yet though. Hrm.

Plus, my MT plays Pure Moods too. So I get to hear the whole CD twice a week and, let me tell you, it ain't that thrilling. I was going to "take back my time" by making my own mix, but the whacked-out computer problem nixed that idea for now. Anything but pure moods though... I'm sure I must have something. I have random songs from that damn CD going willy nilly through my head.

Anyway...
M:3
P:6