Binaries

From A Brain Wider Than the Sky-

The story of how migraines affect marriage, parenthood, friendship, and job, of how they change one's status as a citizen of the world of spirit and of history, is an important one- especially given how the divide itself between sufferer and nonsufferer is one of the primary reasons people have migraines. The pain is innocent. It can't help itself. But that divide- more than the pain- is the real villain here (8).

Yes, you are correct, I still have not reached page ten. If you read my other blog, you'd know why-- big focus on setting up the research for my Capstone.

Anyway, Levy cites nothing to make me believe that the divide between pain sufferer and pain free non-other actually caused migraines but the rest of his point is pretty powerful. It is the "othering" of self that comes from the pain suffering that is most devastating when one falls into agony.

I think that more people are becoming aware of chronic pain as a disability.

From the ADA (no, not American Dental Association):

To be protected by the ADA, one must have a disability or have a relationship or association with an individual with a disability. An individual with a disability is defined by the ADA as a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, a person who has a history or record of such an impairment, or a person who is perceived by others as having such an impairment. The ADA does not specifically name all of the impairments that are covered (emphasis mine).

"Substantially limits one or more major life activities." Harsh. I think that about sums it up, actually, in a bit of a non-poetic way. Today I had to cancel Japanese on account of a massive pain trip (I had to get out of the car and walk around, it got so bad). Saturday I canceled dinner plans. Thursday I missed class. It has been worse than usual, for certain, but these are such common things. Even leaving the house becomes impossible. Sitting, for me, is the worst. I must lay down or stand or walk if I am to reduce the pain. This is a difficult situation for a graduate student and office worker.

I am meeting with a lady from my program to try to start a support group on campus. I think it is not so much the fact that there are non-other people who are pain-free that makes things difficult so much as the inability to whine without feeling like a, well, whiner. I feel like someone will ask me, "do you want some cheese with that whine?" or say, "this is the smallest violin in the universe..." and I will simply deck them. Not literally, but I may get angry, and I'm very Hulk-ish when I'm angry.

But it doesn't feel like whining when other people with pain tell me about what they are going through, so I must assume that others like me feel likewise. Therefore, I shall have a place to complain about the difficulty of the situation with others who feel similarly. Hm, I suppose that is why it is called a "support" group-- I plan to support others and be supported.

It is a bit depressing because this silencing surrounding chronic pain is self-imposed and so widespread. I don't mean to be sexist but reserve the right to be a bit biased in favor of the "fairer sex" on account of abuse-- I think a lot of this silence has to do with more women suffering than men. Women are used to being silenced, I suppose, but that's another issue.

Oh, and that link is the American Pain Society-- I didn't know there was one. I should check that site out more in the near future.

<3

P: 9
M: 8 <--- very unusual to be in a good mood-- only able to type because it got so bad it's gone numb for a bit (hot numb. My back feels like its burning. I should go to sleep before it realizes it liked aching more).