ETS Rant

Well, I'm sure I've mentioned it, but I'm applying for PhD programs this Fall, and there's a lot of work to be done.  One of the big hurdles is the GRE.  I've taken it before and within the past five years, so I don't actually have to take it again, but it might hurt my chances of getting into some schools if I don't.

The trouble is, I've filled out quite a bit of paperwork to get disability accommodations, which included a section for the disability specialist at my school to fill out, and a request for letters from doctors explaining the current state of my disability.

It was a lot of work.  My nice mom called to get the details on what exactly I needed to have filled out, and I tried to be gentle with what I requested, to make it easier for everyone.  The test is about 4 hours long, and there's a 10 minute break at one point.  The big pain thing for me is sitting for too long, and I remember how terrible it was last time, so I just asked for two additional ten minute breaks (one for each hour).

Well, I got a mean email from ETS (group that does GRE) after calling to tell them I hadn't received anything after sending in my paperwork weeks ago, and the letter tells me I must turn in additional materials.  It'll be a lot of extra work, and I'm none too pleased about them not being clearer on what they needed in the first place.

I actually had to go to the bathroom to cry at work, because I couldn't hold it together.  It is just so frustrating-- they actually want me to write a paper saying what exactly my issue is. 

Anyway, I'll know soon whether I really need to take it again or not-- checked with my advisor, and he's checking with others.  In any case, I am so irritated, particularly in light of the man I spoke with on the phone being rude. 

Honestly though, taking the GRE was one of the worst experiences of my life.  It was so hard on my back and neck, so terribly stressful, time consuming, needing lots of study, etc.  This extra paperwork makes it so much worse, plus the rudeness, the lack of response in a timely manner, and this continued suggestion that I'm just trying to cheat. 

Ugh, I already know the damn test is sexist, classist, and racist, but now I have to face it's ableism as well.  I just want to do a mean ass case study on the ETS as the epitome of apathy toward people with disabilities.  I probably will at some point.  Because I hate really hate the GRE, have for a while, but now I hate ETS as well.  As if I didn't have it hard enough already.  Sending waves of bad thoughts-- hope the whole test is done away with (but that all employees find other, more fulfilling positions elsewhere). 

So angry- gah!  Anyway, I'm going to bed.  Or at least going to try, as the pain has been keeping me up/making me wake up lately.  Ugh.